Put Your Clothes Back On

I took a few photography classes and it taught me to be wary of men, including the guy who first encouraged me to take the classes. Want to get a woman to pose nude for you? Get her at a low point. You know, when she’s feeling vulnerable and perhaps undesirable. Get her when she needs attention, male attention. So if should have come as no surprise that as soon as I told a photog friend that I was splitting with my first-love, he couldn’t wait to ask me if I would come over and pose nude for him. He’s not the first and, for real, I don’t consider myself to be a great beauty. I don’t have cleavage to speak of and I’m not tall and leggy. I am, however, not overweight. When I was in the photo lab, I got requests but guys try several angles. Women who try to use their main squeeze as protection can be caught off guard if they say, but my boyfriend wouldn’t let me. The photog will ask your boyfriend and if he says yes and since you’ve already shown that you have the spine of a jellyfish the photog will catch you with your mental pants down just to get you literally with your pants down. Here’s a hint: Learn to say no for yourself. This isn’t the case with Jennifer Aniston. Frankly, her posing nude for GQ makes me question GQ, particularly the gentlemen part but I guess with Sports Illustrated getting so desperate that their swimsuit issue feature women nude but in trompe l’oeil swimsuits, the standards have been lowered. Let’s recall the last time she posed nude for GQ it was for a movie. Or maybe, movies. Is this really the only way one can promote a movie? Yes, perhaps W.C. Fields said, “Never work with animals or children.” Aniston is doing both but is nudity really the way to promote a family film like “Marley & Me”? Or is this her way of gaining more media attention than Angelina Jolie who is promoting her movie “Changeling” and Brad Pitt who’s promoting “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and recently was in the news for his Make It Right project in New Orleans? Or is she hoping that the GQ issue in question will lead into the more adult fare of the February release “He’s Just Not That Into You”? Aniston, girlfriend, it just seems desperate to be newly divorced and appear romping around nude in a men’s magazine. It says: “I’m still attractive. Don’t you find me attractive?” It suddenly makes one understand why men, not the kind you’d want to date and settle down with, hover like vultures, swooping down on women, hoping to be the rebound guy. Wasn’t once enough? At least the first time (March 2006 or just before the April limited release of “Friends with Money” and the June release of “The Break-Up”) didn’t look like something out of vintage Playboy. I didn’t see the Vince Vaughn movie and wasn’t surprised that Aniston broke up with Vaughn. I wonder what more people remember: The movie or the tastefully covered nude scene used for all the talk shows? What did I learn in my photography classes? That men will take advantage of women and those nude photographs may live on forever, now more than ever. Do women really still need to feel pretty and get nude photographic proof to do it? I understand that Aniston is an actor, but that also reminds me of a line used by men in the photography and film departments everywhere, when they want women to pose nude. You’ll at least have credits to put on your resume. Trust me, that’s not what they are saying when they have an all-boys showing of just the nude scenes. As for GQ, sex obviously sells but aren’t you selling your own image? GQ used to stand for a man that is well dressed and well off. The Gentlemen’s Quarterly seems to be getting a gentlemen’s club image. What does this alpha bitch think? A lack of class on both GQ and Aniston’s part. And I wonder: What other actors will bare all to promote family films? As for my photog friend, he could never talk to me without asking if I would pose nude for him. No once wasn’t enough. Learn to say no to men who won’t take no for an answer. Sometimes a break up will let you know who your real friends are and aren’t. That’s always easier to tell with your clothes on.